How to convince yourself to buy and... not to buy?

Shops, online stores, and markets are full of temptations. How to figure out what you need and what you don't? When I find something new and exciting, a little battle starts within. One side tells me I don't need it, the other - greedier - side starts arguing why I definitely need that thing. How to convince yourself to buy the right things and how to leave the shop without your wallet crying a river?

A shopkeeper I know recently called me and that two new unique silk dresses just arrived at the shop. There was only one of each and both my size. Of course I immediately went there and straight to the changing room. Trying on a beige raw silk dress, there was no doubt I would buy it. Regardless of the wrong hem length. But how did I convince myself? I told myself it's silk after all, and a seamstress can fix the length for me.

The other one, a dark blue silk dress with patterns did not leave a shadow of doubt. I was fond of it the minute I tried it on. But how about choosing one silk dress instead of two?  Should it be the lighter one that I could imagine wearing to a garden party or the dark blue dress that is so royal (and, also works for a garden party)? Eventually, a sober mind saved me. The beige one needed to be adjusted. When was the last time I went to a seamstress? When was the last time I had something fitted that I bought in good faith? Result: I took one dress home, so, it was a win for being reasonable. Did I regret leaving the other one behind? Definitely not.

A few months ago I found ideal over the knee boots online. I already laid my eyes on them and it was only a matter of convincing myself. That went fast. First, they were originally over 500 euros and now just over a hundred. I told myself: "Every time you go to the food store, you spend almost as much, and all the food is gone in two days. Boots last longer!" I chose Paypal and bought them. Do I regret it? No. It was a good purchase. I have worn them a lot and will do it in the autumn as well.

One morning I discovered that Feelunique has the 'Alice In Wonderland' eyeshadow palette by Urban Decay available. I was looking at those colours and thought they are made for someone like me who loves to experiment with colours. I gave myself time and decided to think until the evening. In the evening I decided to buy the palette, because I remembered how much I loved that story. My persuasion skills are amazing! Result: the palette was sold out on Feelunique. Do I miss that palette today? To be honest, no. I have some eyeshadow palettes already and there's no point in piling them up... Bitterness? No.

Negotiations with yourself are harder than with others, because one part of me always says that you should treat yourself. I always remind myself and others of that. The best way is to reserve that thing. Perhaps the endless negotiations are illustrated well by a story that happened to me a couple of days ago. I stepped into a shop where I had reserved a white shirt. The sales assistant asked if I had come to get my shirt. I stood in the middle of the shop and was completely at loss. I couldn't remember what she was talking about... Did I really reserve that shirt? When and why? How do you convince yourself to buy and not to buy things?

Kauplused, netipoed ja turud on tulvil kiusatusi. Kuidas teha endale selgeks, mida ma vajan ja mida mitte? Kui ma leian midagi uut ja põnevat, algab alati väike võitlus. Üks pool ütleb mulle: "Sa ei vaja seda!" ja teine, see minu ahnem pool asub argumenteerima, miks ma kindlasti vajan just seda asja. Kuidas ennast veenda õigeid asju ostma ja kõndida poest välja nii, et rahakott pisaraid ei vala?

Hiljuti helistas minu tuttav poeomanik ja ütles, et uue kaubaga tuli kaks unikaalset siidkleiti. Mõlemaid on vaid üks ja minu suurus. Purjetasin loomulikult kohale ja maabusin otse proovikabiinis. Proovides selga beežikas toorsiidist kleiti, polnud kahtlust, et selle ma ostan. Mis siis, et pikkus oli vale .... Kuidas ma end veensin? Ütlesin endale: "Ikkagi siid. Ja mis siis, et vale pikkus, küll õmbleja selle parajaks teeb." Teine, tumesinine ja mustriga siidkleit ei tekitanud minus ühtki kõhklust. Panin selle selga ja kiindusin kohe. Kuid kuidas oleks, kui valiks kahe siidkleidi asemel ühe? Kas ma ei ütle sageli poes oma tütrele, et palun vali kahe jäätise asemel üks ja miks ei võiks ma seda täna iseendale öelda, eriti kui tegemist on kleitidega. Kuid mida nendest kahest valida? Kas siis pigem hele kleit, milles kujutasin end juba aiadpeol külalisi vastu võtmas või hoopis selle tumesinise, mis mõjub nii kuninglikult (ja, khm... sobib samauti aiapeole)? Lõpuks päästis mind terve mõistus. Beeži siidkleidi pikkus vajas parajaks tegemist. Millal ma viimati õmbleja juures käisin? Millal ma viimati midagi, mille endale heas usus ostsin, endale parajaks tegin? Tulemus: viisin koju ühe kleidi ehk terve mõistus võitis. Kas ma kahetsen, et jätsin teisi kleidi poodi? Kindlasti mitte.

Paar kuud tagasi leidsin netipoest endale ideaalsed ülepõlve saapad. Ma olin neile silma juba varem peale pannud ja nüüd oli vaja vaid ennast veenda. See käis kiiresti. Esiteks olid nad varem maksnud üle 500 euro ja nüüd vaid pisut üle saja. Ütlesin endale: "Iga kord, kui toidupoodi külastad, läheb peaaegu sama palju ja kõik toit on ülejärgmisel päeval otsas. Saapad kestavad kauem!" Valisin Paypali ja asusin ostma. Kas ma kahetsen? Ei. See oli hea ost. Ma olen neid ohtralt kandnud ja teen seda ka sügisel.

Ühel hommikul avastasin, et Feeluniques on müügis Urban Decay uusim lauvärvide palett "Alice In Wonderland". Uurisin värve ja vaatasin, et see on justkui loodud minule, kes armastab värvidega eksperimenteerida. Andsin endale aega ja otsustasin õhtuni mõelda. Õhtul otsustasin, et ostan selle paleti, sest vahepeal olin endale ka meelde tuletanud, kui väga ma seda muinajuttu armastan. Minu veenmisvõime on vapustav! Tulemus: kui ma õhtul Feelunicque`i jõudsin, oli palett juba läbi müüdud!. Kas ma täna veel tunnen selles paletist puudust? Kui aus olla, siis ei. Mul on siiski mõned lauvärvide paletid on ja pole mõtet neid kuhjata ... Hapud viinamarjad? Ei.

Läbirääkimised iseendaga on sageli raskemad, kui teistega, sest üks osa minust toonitab alati, et ennast tuleb premeerida. Ma tuletan seda lakkamatult meelde nii endale, kui teistele. Parim viis on panna ihaldusväärne asjake kinni ja mõelda tunnike. Veel parem, kui saad mõelda järgmise päevani. Ehk iseloomustab meie lõputuid vajadusi lugu, mis juhus minuga paar päeva tagasi. Astusin sisse poodi, kus oli pannud kinni triiksärgi. Müüja küsis, kas tulin oma särgile järgi? Ma jäin keset poodi seisma ja olin täiesti nõutu. Nimelt ei suutnud ma meenutada, millest jutt käis ... Kas ma olin tõesti endale triiksärgi kinni pannud? Miks? Ja millal? Arva ära, kas ma ostsin selle. Kuidas sina veenad ennast asju ostma ... ja mitte ostma?

PHOTOS: Meisi Volt